


My Cat Is An Asshole

by rosemusiclive



Category: Hat Films - Fandom, The Yogscast
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3316061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemusiclive/pseuds/rosemusiclive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ross is the latest victim of Alex's underwear-stealing cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Cat Is An Asshole

It was raining. Of course it was fucking raining. It was always raining. Alex huffed as he pulled his umbrella out of his backpack. It had taken quite a few wet sprints back home before his boss had demanded that he bring an umbrella, ‘or so help me I’ll make you sleep in the restaurant overnight, then maybe you won’t come in the next day complaining about a cold you caught in the rain.’ Alex had simply rolled his eyes and ignored the fact that, as usual, she was probably right.

“I'm off Kim!” He shouted into the restaurant, the sound echoing around the empty room. After hearing a far away noise of recognition from his boss’ office, he pushed the door open and stepped out into the rain.

Night was already setting in, Alex moved quickly along the busy high street, pushing through the mass of people going about their business. The restaurant closed early on a wednesday, giving Alex a few more hours of daylight to find his way home than normal. It was nice, walking home with the sunset painted on the horizon and the warmth of summer hanging lazily in the air, despite the rain. Still, that might just be his art degree talking.

Walking home didn't take long, it was only about twenty minutes of avoiding puddles and trying not to hit people with his umbrella before he made it back to his apartment building. It was a shoddy, old building, but it was cheap and close to the centre of town, so he ignored the constant flood on the bottom floor and the weird smell in the lift and called it home.

Sighing with the relief of his own space, Alex slumped against the front door of his flat as he unlocked it and pushed it open. His roommate was out with his girlfriend, meaning he was home alone. The apartment wasn’t big, but there was a kitchen, lounge, bathroom and bedrooms. Plus being on the 12th floor meant he got a pretty decent view, overlooking the vast city of London. He could watch skyscrapers puncture the evening sky until the sun went down. 

Dumping his coat, umbrella and bag on the brown sofa as he passed, he slid open the glass door and stepped out onto the balcony. Every apartment had one, each attached to it’s neighbours, only separated by a thin piece of waist-high wall. His roommate, Chris, had let Alex decorate the balcony. It was peppered with pot plants of various sizes, all reaching towards the sun with faint hope of outliving Alex’s track record of killing a plant in under three weeks. Fairy lights were strung along the railings of the balcony, painting the shadowy gloom with a soft light.

 It was typical for him and Chris to lounge on the balcony in the summer, strewn lazily across the two metal chairs Alex had picked up from some sort of discounted garage sale in the other side of town. They would sip cold beers with their feet propped up on the cool railing, the hum of their conversation lingering into the first hours of the morning. Occasionally, Alex would bring dates out onto the balcony. The women would gasp and sigh, the men would smile and tell him it was cute. Either way, delighting them with the view of the city was always a winner.

Alex smiled as he sat back in one of the chairs. The rain had stopped, the clouds clearing in the sky to reveal a hazy red sunset. The balcony always remained dry despite the weather, shielded by the one of the apartment above. Letting out a puff of air, Alex rolled his shoulders to stretch his muscles and nestled his back into the metal seat.

“Oi!”

Alex’s head snapped to the left at the shout, his brow furrowed at the disruption of his peace. His eyes widened as he noticed his old tabby cat running along the wall of the connected balconies, something trapped in it’s mouth.

“Smee!” He called to the cat, hastily getting out of his seat. “Get down from there!”

The cat seemed to be unfazed by the massive drop to its left, instead choosing jovially pad his way along the wall, towards Alex. The cat leaped into his balcony with graceful nonchalance, dropping the thing in its mouth on the concrete floor in triumph. The animal was immediately scooped up by Alex, who began both scolding and cuddling it.

“You idiot cat!” He scorned, petting the disgruntled animal with all his might. “You could have fallen! Never do that again.”

The cat growled at it's cooing owner and wriggled out of his grasp. The ginger man glared at the cat as it slunk into the apartment. Ungrateful animal. After watching the cat curl itself up on one of the radiators, he bent down to examine the thing it had dropped. His jaw fell open as he realised it was not a mouse or shrew as he suspected, but someone’s underwear. 

“Hey!” A voice called. Alex looked up to see a guy in the second balcony over waving his hands around. Alex blushed, the man was very attractive, and for some god-given reason, shirtless. His dark hair and vibrant blue eyes completely distracted Alex from what he was saying, and when Alex refocused he noticed the guy was waiting for him to respond to something he'd said.

“Uh, what?” Alex asked, fighting back the blush of embarrassment.

“Have you seen a ginger cat around here?” The guy asked again, Alex swore in his head. 

“Um, yeah. He’s my cat.”

“Oh right.” 

“Did he take something of yours?”

“Yeah, actually.”

There was a moment of silence between the two. Alex knew that the underwear belonged to the guy, and the guy knew that Alex had his underwear, but neither wanted to bring it up first. This was so awkward. Alex was going to spade that fucking cat.

“So…” The guy said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. Alex sighed in defeat.

“Look, do you want your pants back or not?” Alex asked. Welp, there goes all chances of ever having a normal conversation with this guy ever again.

“Yes please.”

The guy waited as Alex bent down to pick the boxer shorts off of his balcony floor. They were black Calvin Kleins and looked clean. Holding them cautiously between his thumb and index finger, Alex realised that he didn't know how to actually get them to the guy. 

“Throw them?” The guy suggested. 

“I can't throw.” Alex sighed. He didn't want another repeat of the cutlery incident in the kitchen at work. Kim had shouted at him for a good half an hour before the dishwasher started making questionable noises and she had to call a handyman to remove the forks from the pipes.

“Just lob it, I'll catch it.” The guy said, bringing Alex out of his embarrassing memories and into the embarrassing present.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. The guy nodded and held out his hands. Biting his lip, Alex drew back his arm and threw the underwear as hard as he could. Unfortunately, he let go of the garment too late, sending it flying high into the air. The boxers smacked against the bottom of the balcony of the floor above and flipped straight down, landing on the balcony between them. Neither of the men said anything for a moment, both marvelling at how well Alex had managed to fuck up that throw.

“Jesus Christ.” The guy said, Alex simply groaned.

“I'll get them.” He said, sighing as he shimmied over the 3ft wall, his long legs finally being put to good use. He hoped nobody was home, if he got caught on this balcony he would face a pretty hefty breaking an entering fine.

The pants had landed more towards the guys side of the balcony in a lovely stone birdbath the old woman who lived in this apartment had set out. Alex tentatively reached out and picked up the underwear, trying to shake the water off of them. The guy watched him from his balcony, frowning at the sight of his dripping boxers. Alex sighed and walked over to the wall to hand the guy his pants. 

“Thanks.” The guy said, smiling shyly as he accepted the threw the underwear into his apartment. Alex shrugged.

“Sorry my cat is an asshole.”

“It’s alright.” The guy chuckled. Alex smiled as he met the guys ice blue eyes, a dusting of faint pink coating his cheeks. They held each others gaze for a moment, caught up in an odd trance. Alex felt his heart start to beat faster as the guy bit his lip. Watching in a dazed glee, Alex grinned as the guy opened his mouth to say something. However both men were interrupted by a noise of the door to the balcony Alex was standing on opening.

Before Alex knew what was happening, he was being dragged over the wall between the balconies and pressed against a concrete floor. His mouth was covered by a hand, muffling his yelp of distress. Alex’s eyes met the guys as he was pinned down and quieted, obviously hiding from the person who’s balcony he was just on. Alex blushed as he the malicious part of his brain reminded him that the guy was still shirtless.

“You alright down there Ross?” An old woman’s voice asked. The guy looked at Alex in a way that told him to _stay there and be quiet._

“Yeah Mrs Lester.” The guy said, chucking and standing up. “Just dropped something, that’s all.”

“Be careful you don’t leave anything out, I think that cat has been taking things again.”

Alex burned crimson at that comment, covering his face with his hands and holding back a weary groan. That _fucking_ cat.

“Oh really?” The guy asked, giving the old woman a smile. “I'll have to look out for that.”

“You do that dear.” The woman said, by the sounds of things she had started to water her plants. 

The guy stepped into his apartment, leaving the door open wide enough for Alex to commando crawl through. Alex cheeks flushed in embarrassment as shuffled on his hands and knees into the guy’s apartment, trying not to be seen by the old woman. Once he was safely inside, the guy closed the balcony door and gave out a shaky breath.

“Thanks mate.” Alex said, pulling himself off of the apartment floor. “You just saved me a breaking and entering fine.”

“It’s cool.” The guy said, pulling on a shirt he had drying on one of the radiators. Now fully clothed, he caught Alex’s eye and smiled shyly. “I’m Ross, by the way.”

“Alex.” The ginger beamed back. They shook hands, the sinking sun bathing them both in it’s soft glow. A beat of comfortable silence passed between them.

“Well.” Alex said, breaking the weird tension. “I'd best be off.”

“Yeah.” Ross nodded, snapping back to reality himself and showing him to the front door of the apartment. They paused by the door, as if waiting for something to happen. A moment passed where Ross looked like he was going to say something, but he didn’t. Alex bowed his head.

“Bye.” He said. “Sorry about my cat.” Opening the door and turning in the direction of his own apartment, Alex immediately regretted not asking the guy out. He had taken about three steps down the hall before he heard a shout behind him. Turning, he saw Ross staring at him, Alex raised an eyebrow.

“You know.” Ross said, blushing slightly and looking down. “If you had gotten fined, the police probably would have let you off.”

Alex frowned, confused.

“Because you're pretty damn fine yourself.”

Alex blinked, taken aback by the line. After realising what the dark haired man had said, he burst out laughing.

“Oh my god.” Alex laughed, clutching his stomach. “That was awful.”

“Really?” Ross grinned, closing the apartment door and stepping towards the ginger.

“Brilliantly awful.” Alex smiled, blushing as he pulled himself together enough to realise that Ross had just used a pick up line on him. A sheepish grin took over Alex’s features as he stepped closer to the dark haired man.

“So…” Ross said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Wanna go out and get a takeaway?”

“Sure.” Alex grinned, grabbing Ross’ hand and lacing their fingers together, enjoying the other man’s blush. “As long as we don’t get Malaysian.”

“Malaysian?” Ross asked, the two heading towards the lift together.

“Yeah, I work at the Malaysian restaurant down the road, get enough of that to last me a life time.”

Thought seemed to cloud Ross’ features, Alex cocked an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“I think I did a job there.”

“Really? What do you do?”

“I fix kitchen appliances for restaurants, did you guys have a problem with your dishwasher at some point?” 

Alex sighed, rubbing his face in shame as they stepped into the lift. The sound of Ross’ laughter filled the small room and Alex looked at him. The sunlight was passing through the lift’s small windows and illuminating Ross’ face in it’s gentle glow, his ice blue eyes catching Alex’s in a gaze so full of life, Alex couldn't help but grin back at him. The lift reached the bottom floor and they stepped out into the warm night air of the street together, hands clasped tightly and minds only on each other.


End file.
